My Dumb Observations

Who cares what Beyonce thinks? Yes, she should lend her celebrity to better causes, but who cares? Who cares which drug kingpin Sean Penn endorses, or if Dustin Hoffman has an unfavorable opinion of our legal system? Who cares if someone as socially responsible as Kanye West thinks all cops are dishonest? In fact, should anyone earning millions in the land of ‘make believe’ comment on anything meaningful? In a universe dumbed down by social media, perhaps one should appreciate the thoughts of others. After all, even a stupid opinion has greater value than a photo of today's brunch. But in a culture that creates gods out of celebrity, perhaps the expectation should be raised. Come to think of it, expectations were raised decades ago when self immolating movie stars began adding publicists to the payroll. Before twitter, profiting from celebrity stupidity was a booming industry. Today, anyone with a pulse can ruin his career before the next commercial break. Heck, even Kramer fl...

It's 4 am on a Tuesday night and I'm waiting for a bus on the heart of the Las Vegas strip. Even though the World Series of Poker is in full swing, there's not a soul walking the boulevard. Three of us are waiting for the northbound double decker. One is a 65 year old gap toothed woman. She's either borderline homeless or a downtown resident with a blue walker and six multi-colored plastic bags tied to the hand brakes. The other is a middle aged cat with greying kinky hair and a fanny pack. He's rockin' an old school sweat suit and blasting music through a cushioned set of head phones. The half-assed bus shelter offers a steel bench intentionally too narrow to sleep on, nor will it adequately shelter anyone from the elements. The greatest elemental challenge, though, is leapfrogging over the tributaries of piss crawling across the sidewalk to the curb.  Any person of average intelligence might hop into a cab at this sight alone, but my inner voice tells me not...

I was born and bred in Brooklyn and with any luck I'll die here too. I say this without reservation because after travelling a decent chunk of the planet, and every corner of America, I know New York City is the best place on earth. Notwithstanding, there are a few places I would consider living outside of New York. Lake Tahoe is one of them. With mountain crisp air, the snow peaked range surrounds a twenty mile lake, creating a picturesque backdrop for hikers, skiers, fishmongers, and any purveyor of outdoor recreation.  Tahoe’s south shore provides multiple casinos, restaurants and nightlife, providing activities for every traveler. No wonder the Corleone family took a summer residence there. Regardless of the weather, Lake Tahoe is the Garden of Eden. On my first winter trip to the Sierra Nevada Mountains I rented an SUV and thought I was unstoppable. With ten feet of plowed snow on the side of the road, I was cruising like a champ while winding up the incline and ...

Usernames and Passwords Is it too late to change my New Year’s resolution? After some thought, my current resolution of joining the American Idol fan club, gaining VIP entry to special events, and incessantly heckling the dearest fans might be too costly and time consuming. Besides, I hear Bieber is adding dates on the world tour anyway. Last week, while attempting to log into my pay pal account for the 24 hour Idol gold membership promotion, I quickly received a notification that my username OR my password was incorrect, but they could not tell me which one. Boy is that annoying.  I haven’t logged in to pay pal since I wired $1,600 to that hot chick stranded in West Africa five years ago.   Sounds stupid, I know, but I swear she was mutual friends with another hot chick friend on Facebook that I don’t recall speaking with. Anyway, she was somehow detained at customs, and I guess she needed the money to pay legal fees or something. Either way, I spent all afternoon on my...

Get a grip. Really. Think about it; do you need some obnoxious stranger to reduce your poor relationship decisions to three words? Of course you do. It’s why American’s pay psychiatrists, divorce lawyers and marriage counselors. Well, here it is for free. Stop fooling yourself and realize the irresponsible behavior of your adult partner will not change. The quicker you embrace this notion the easier your life will be- and it will be easier. Far easier than therapy, phone rants with your mother, or hours of time wasted on self help books. Three simple words… I’m no exception. I have more shortcomings than a midget in the NBA, but I recognize them. For instance, I recently lost an opportunity with a cute catch when I told her I don’t like talking on the phone. “This will be the longest conversation we are likely to have,” I said after 15 minutes of small talk. “Really,” she said, “I love talking on the phone.” “Well, I love talking over a cocktail if that helps.” “I don’t drin...

Pedaling down the boardwalk on an overcast July morning, I glanced toward the fishing pier in the distance. The threat of rain on this Sunday kept many away from the beach, but over one hundred people were clustered   on the east end of the pier. Cycling past the NYPD ceremonial unit in their white gloves, I knew everyone was gathered to say goodbye to Jason. Overcome by the support for our departed friend and holding back tears; I gazed toward the tumultuous sky knowing Jay’s journey was stirring the heavens already. An avid fisherman, Jason was no stranger to the pier.   In fact, many boardwalk regulars recognized him. Between his intense charisma, his fishing skills and his tattooed appearance, Jay was a memorable figure. Generally soft spoken, I always appreciated how energetic Jay would become when he discussed his hobbies. I knew Jason years before his ink and his custom fishing rods; before he was hired as a police officer, and before his injuries would isolate h...

Enough already with thinking the police WANT to stop and frisk minorities. Reading media accounts of those stopped, one would think the police were frenzied cowboys running amok. Some articles suggest the police are financially compensated for stopping young black men and secretly rewarded for violating the rights of others. Of course the NYPD is not without fault for creating adverse reactions in many communities, but the overall issue needs a common sense middle ground. As a lifelong Brooklyn resident and a police officer, maybe a different perspective is in order. I haven’t been a frenzied pig my whole life, but I have been stopped and frisked more than most. In fact, during my adolescence I’ve probably been “tossed” more than all the New York columnists combined, yet I never came away with any more negative feelings for the police than I have today. Growing up on the streets of Brooklyn, I was associated with a large, loud, and disorderly group. We did not have community recr...