My Dumb Observations

I hate Christmas. The fake spirit, the phony joy, it’s all a big farce. As a kid, when Santa Claus was motivating, I looked forward to the seasonal customs, but was always suspicious of how Santa operated. On Christmas Eve, my parents would encourage my brother and I to “go to bed” because Santa would not arrive with people awake. Then they would stay up with a houseful of guests celebrating the holiday Italian style -drinking jugs of wine, smoking cartons of cigarettes, eating seafood, and carrying on till sunrise- while we listened and choked on the fumes atop the stairs. Christmas morning we would drag my parents out of bed. Hung over and exhausted, my father would set up the old 8 millimeter camera, flood the room with studio style lighting, and blind his children while capturing silent films of us tearing into an overabundance of gifts. We truly were blessed. We always received what we wanted, and as an added bonus, my brother often had more fun playing with the ...

After of one of the most controversial elections in United States history, the world watched as the Electoral College gathered to respect the wishes of our forefathers. Voters were ready to close the door on the longest most unpopular campaign ever, despite a contingent of ‘recount reformers’ dragging on the inevitable. Then Bill Clinton added fuel to the fire. After casting his electoral vote, the former president blamed “angry white men” for his wife's defeat. Bill's analysis grabbed headlines while happily elevating Trump supporters from knuckle-draggers and bigots. But in a country as polarized as modern America, can over 60 million voters be slandered so broadly? When skimming the numbers, one can find many explanations for Trump's victory, including a coalition of “deplorables,” but far more variables influenced the Republican win. To better understand the outcome of the 2016 election, here are some possibilities that cannot be overlooked. A Landslide? Presi...

The Manhattan bound train is empty as it lurches forward and begins its midnight journey out of Coney Island. Winter winds whip through the train as passengers slowly board at every elevated station. Most are headed to a night shift job or New York night out. My police radio is dead silent. With only one year on patrol I have yet to learn the best crime fighting efforts do not come from police executives or politicians, but from the tendencies of Mother Nature. My assignment to late night train patrol was precipitated that winter by a ‘lush worker.’ He was cutting open the pockets of sleeping passengers to remove personal items while they slept. The crime is not atypical for the hour or area, and the eyewitness description of the perpetrator was a black male 18 to 30 years old wearing a black jacket, black jeans, and armed with a box cutter. My platoon had been briefed numerous times about the robbery pattern, and with rookie ambition we certainly generated many stop and frisk reports...

If you ever visit Denver and arrive after midnight, just curl up in a ball and cry. Don't be swayed to visit the Midwest’s premier city with an $85 airfare from New York either. After arriving late into the vast atrium of Denver International Airport (DIA), one discovers in short order that the fetal position is a decent option. Another option, of course, is taking a cab from the green pastures of DIA, which lies far beyond the city limits, to the city center for over $55. The thought of enjoying a mountain getaway in the historic mining town of Black Hawk, just 40 minutes uphill from Denver, seemed wonderful from my air conditioned apartment. That is, until arriving after midnight to learn that the car rental center had closed. Consultation with the airport police confirms that this phenomenon happens nightly to passengers arriving late.The officer then presented the most common options for late arriving travelers. They are as follows: Stay at the newly built airport...

Commissioner Bill Bratton's sudden departure from the NYPD could not have come at a worse time for the people of New York. Sought by Mayor de Blasio as the most tempered, experienced, and fair minded executive in policing, Bratton seemed a perfect fit for the controversial job. Following on the heels of Raymond Kelly, and twenty years of republican rule in New York City, both the distressed citizens and the demoralized cops in the Big Apple embraced the change. But the New York of today is a vastly different place from when crime and disorder dominated the political landscape. Some critics single handedly blame Bratton for lighting the fuse which led to the dissatisfaction people feel toward the police today. After all, William Bratton popularized the scientific management of policing. By strengthening law enforcement tools like crime mapping and targeted enforcement, Bratton's initiatives modernized how the police interrupt criminal behavior around the world. As crime ...

Kids have legs. I've used that exact response hundreds of times to remind adults and bystanders when kids get separated. And, of course, it doesn't always diminish the concern of the erratic parent who has just lost her child. As a cop, I get it, but as a parent, do you? Fortunately, there are not many celebrated child rescue incidents, so measuring any traumatic long-term effect is difficult. Do you recall the 1987 case of Baby Jessica trapped in the well in Midland, Texas? Like Jessica McClure, most kids happily go about their imperfect lives like we do- listless and struggling with broken homes, financial hardships, and all the attributes that make us, well, average. Today, Ms. McClure still resides nearby and lives a very average life. Last heard, she has two children of her own and makes ends meet washing cars out of her driveway. But she had nearly a million dollars gifted to her after her incident. In terms of America's cult of celebrity, our curious Cincinnat...

Who cares what Beyonce thinks? Yes, she should lend her celebrity to better causes, but who cares? Who cares which drug kingpin Sean Penn endorses, or if Dustin Hoffman has an unfavorable opinion of our legal system? Who cares if someone as socially responsible as Kanye West thinks all cops are dishonest? In fact, should anyone earning millions in the land of ‘make believe’ comment on anything meaningful? In a universe dumbed down by social media, perhaps one should appreciate the thoughts of others. After all, even a stupid opinion has greater value than a photo of today's brunch. But in a culture that creates gods out of celebrity, perhaps the expectation should be raised. Come to think of it, expectations were raised decades ago when self immolating movie stars began adding publicists to the payroll. Before twitter, profiting from celebrity stupidity was a booming industry. Today, anyone with a pulse can ruin his career before the next commercial break. Heck, even Kramer fl...